Day 102, July 14, 2012

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 I woke up feeling the sun. I had slept very little that night from the noise of the highway right next to me, and the train that was nearby too. I got up and took a whiz. I was just down a slope where the cars wouldn't see me. I packed my things up and brushed my teeth.
        I hit the highway at about 8am. The next town was about 4 miles up, then after that it was 16 miles more to get to the town of Quanah TX.
        I walked through the little town and went right through it. There were green fields on one side and dry brown fields on the other. And the blue sky was a really pretty shade of blue. I was really enjoying the scenery and also the cool breeze.
         I saw a little white car making a U turn ahead of me where there was nothing. The car pulled off and a little old lady came out and slowly walked up to me. She handed me $10 and had a little nervous smile and never really made eye contact. I told her thank you so much and she just nodded her head as she turned with a smile and headed back to her car. It gave me chills and I was smiling after that just thinking about how sweet it was. It was like a silent Angel came to deliver me a small package to propel me to keep me walking. Not just the money, but a message of how people have kindness in their hearts to look out for someone. Even if she was nervous it was still awesome.
          So I walked a ways and got about 7 miles from Quanah where I stopped at a rest stop along the 287. There were covered benches with outlets and the rest area was really nice! I stopped there and plugged in. I decided I would take a break there for the middle part of the day.
         As I sat there in the shade I still felt the heat of the day. I came to a point where I don't know why but suddenly my thoughts became tough. I was feeling very alone and like I needed someone to talk to. I hadn't talked to a person for more than a few minutes all day and most of the last entire week. I was starting to think crazy thoughts. I was thinking to myself, is this a dream? How do I know this is real? What if I wake up and am at a horrible place in some other consciousness? I got up to drink some water and thought maybe I was a little dehydrated. The water was very hot but I downed it anyways to have water in me. I sat on the bench and ran my hands through my hair and squeezed it in a frustrated manner. I was frustrated.
         I got up and grabbed my little bible someone gave me. I started to read through it and most of the things I read I was either confused about or didn't interpret in a way I thought was right or moral. It seemed like if I followed all these things I would feel so deprived and it would make me crazy. But I remembered being told we are forgiven for our sins even against the bible. But what if you know you are going to sin because you can't follow all these guidelines? And especially when you don't agree with a lot of them? And if I know I will sin it doesn't seem right that I can think its ok while I do it and ask for forgiveness afterwards. I can imagine all the times I will be sinning in the future and know its coming. So how are those thoughts justifiable? It doesn't fit to me. It seems like its a loop hole system and I don't know how people can sin and while they are doing it feel ok about it when they really believe they shouldn't do it, and will be asking for forgiveness later, knowing they will be granted it? But as I read I came across a verse that spoke to me. I left all those thoughts I had behind and just read that verse over and over and really liking it. I put the book down and I left the 90% that put negativity in me, and the small part that hit home I thought about for the next 2 hours. That put me to ease.
           I left there at about 6pm to head to Quanah. I walked about 3 miles when a dog came out from a house and came up to me. It was a cute little puppy. He was really friendly and I pet him a little. Then when I started walking on he followed me. I went far enough where I could tell he wasn't going home. So I yelled for him to go home but he wouldn't. So I turned around and walked back to the house. I knocked on the door and was a little nervous about a response to me being there knocking. Nobody answered. So I told the dog to stay and even threw some rocks near him to stay but he just picked them up in his mouth and brought them to me.
          So after some thought I just left walking. The dog followed me but I didn't know what else to do? So I figured I would get to Quanah 3 miles ahead and use a gas station phone to have the cops come take the dog back home. Just about a miles into walking from there a cop passed and I waved at him. He turned around and came back and then drove through the grassy dip between the lanes and aggressively made it through. He pulled off and I told him my situation. He was real nice and after asking what I was doing said it was awesome. He grabbed the dog and put him in the car and left.
          I got to Quanah at around sunset and had walked 18 miles that day. I went to a sonic to use my giftcard and get a drink. As I sat there two men walked up with no shoes on. One large black guy and a small bald white guy covered in tatoos. They were both dirty and loud and sloppy. But looked like maybe were just being goofballs.
        They sat at a bench near me and ate their food. The small guy yelled over to me and said "can I ask you something?" I said sure. "are you traveling?" i said yes. "where are you staying tonight?". I said I would figure it out. Then he said he had a bed for me and to stay there at his house. Then he said "and don't thank me, thank god". I was a little hesitant but he kept insisting he was a good guy. So finally I said ok. I figured if at any point it seemed sketchy I could leave.
         After they ate we started walking. His house was 2 blocks away. So right as we were walking through the parking lot I noticed the black guys feet were covered in blood. So I asked him if his feet are ok and what happened? He kind of stumbled his words and then suddenly the white guy butted in and said quickly "he hurt them earlier". Almost like he didn't want the black guy to give me the real answer. I had a weird vibe then. Then right after that the white guy asked if I had batteries. I said ya, for what? And he said "for the lanterns. My house has no power. I live small so I can live big". Just then I lifted my front tire, spun my cart 180 degrees and said to them, "I'm gonna try and get down the road a little more guys, god bless" and left. It just seemed sketchy and my instinct was not seeing a good nights rest coming.
        I walked about 1/4 of a mile and found a closed restaurant with grass behind it. So I went back there and was pretty out of sight. I made my bed and it was pretty soft for what my average is. I laid down and fell asleep around 11:30.



Anonymous said...

Do you mind if I ask what verse you liked in the bible? I have trouble reading it a lot as well.. A lot of it doesn't make a lot of sense to me and I don't agree with a lot of it, but every once in a while it's nice to read something good from it. :)

David Collins said...

If you don't like the bible you have, get a pen and paper to write your own bible that you wish you had .

Anonymous said...

You walk your own truth!